Cellphones are the Root of All Evil

I know that some people will look at this title and think that I am overstating things - and perhaps maybe I am but only to a small degree. Cellphones may not be the root of all evil, but they sure are the root of a considerable amount of it. Or at least an extreme enabler to those evils. I've actually had this conversation with dozens of people over the last few years, and I've gotten most of them to agree to most of the points I make below. But nonetheless, I have not really had any success in getting people to kick the habit and throw off their shackles.

For the record, I used to have a cell phone but it has been about 8 years now that I have been a free man. My wife and I originally bought them when we moved out to the country, and in all honesty if we were still living in the country I'd probably have one for the sole purpose of being able to call for help on a back country road if the car breaks down. That is perhaps one of the very few legitimate uses I can find for a cellphone, but even still, I suspect most people's needs would be met here with a no-plan phone since all phones can call 911 even if you are not paying for a plan with a provider. Though I guess calling 911 for a broken down car may not be a legitimate use of the service.

The biggest issue with cellphones is the environmental cost of them - based on just my own anecdotal observations of friends who have the things, it appears to me as though most people change phones on average about once a year. A quick google turns up this 2002 article from Wired Magazine which says that by 2005, Americans will be discarding 130 million cell phones a year. I do not have any statistics for today, but I think it is probably safe to assume we've hit that mark and have most likely surpassed it. This article from 2010 says that 100 million a year are discarded in Europe. That is an incredible amount of waste, even if the things are given up for recycling instead of tossed in the garbage. To me, this is just a very disgusting example of our consumer society gone wrong. Even if they are recycled.

Being Available / Reachable

So what are the reasons people give for "needing" a cell phone? At the base of course are 2 reasons - either "I need to be able to reach other people", or "I need other people to be able to reach me". Duh! Of course. Sort of goes without saying, right? Either so I can call out, or so someone else can call in to me. I think we need to move up one level from the base to have a look at some of the reasons people give for "needing" to have this sort of access to others at every waking moment. But before I do, I just want to make a quick mention of something I just heard this morning on the radio - there was a study just released which shows that constant electronic interruptions either in the form of computer popups or cellphones ringing, result in an average drop in IQ of ten percent! The news story said that this was twice the drop in IQ that studies show comes from smoking pot, for example.

So, I rest my case already - cellphones make you stupider. Done, and done.

But My Kids Might Need Me!

One example I often hear people use when they say they "need to be accessible", is because of their kids. The kids are in daycare, or school, and of course any good parent worries and wants to be there for their child in case of emergency. For example, a mom going back to work for the first time in years, and says she wants a cellphone so she can be reachable while at work. Which immediately makes me wonder what sort of work she must do where they do not have telephones. It is harvest time, so maybe she works on a farm bringing in the harvest - because that is really the only job I can think of off the top of my head where there would not already be a telephone nearby. I've had precisely this conversation with lots of parents, and in every single case bar none they have all admitted in the end that their having a cellphone would provide zero real benefit to either them or their child, even in the unimaginable case of an extreme emergency. Which is precisely the reason most often given for "needing" a cellphone. But that reason just does not pan out.

The reality of the situation is that if there is an emergency involving the child, there is absolutely nothing the parent will be able to do about it anyway. And the extra 10s of seconds that would be required to contact the parent at work would make no difference whatsoever. Even if something happened while the parent were on the way from work to the daycare to pick up the child, having a cellphone on hand really only makes the situation worse, not better. Imagine the worst, and something happens to the child while the parent is on the way to pick them up - the daycare calls the parent on their cellphone, and suddenly we have a panicked parent on the road who is most likely going to disregard any number of traffic safety rules in order to get to the child a few 10s of seconds sooner than they otherwise would have if they'd just been doing the normal daily routine. Those 10s of seconds will make zero different to the child in this situation. Yes, that may sound heartless, but it is true. Meanwhile, someone has already called 911, and Emergency Services are already on the way, if not already there.

And I should point out in this example, that I am personally a pretty extreme worry wort when it comes to my wife and kids. I kid you not one iota, but there have been situations as early as perhaps just 2 years ago, where my wife has been out somewhere with friends or at a concert, and I've been at home with the kids. She ends up being later than she said she'd be, and I end up in a complete and utter panic in the living room, unable to sleep, completely certain that my wife is dead in a ditch somewhere, sometimes even to the point of sobbing in tears. I kid you not. Now, it may at first seem completely logical to say "see, but if your wife had a cellphone, you could just call her and know there was nothing to worry about". And I suppose on the surface that might be true. But in reality all this does is fuel the fire - it would feed my paranoia. It becomes an enabler of the paranoid behavior. And it puts my wife at the end of a tether with no freedom.

A better solution to such a problem is for me to get a grip on reality - which is what I've been working hard on for quite some time now. And I have to say I've been doing a pretty good job of it, and it has been a couple of years since I've had a bout of paranoia like that. Another better solution which has also come out of the situation, is that my wife has become a far better estimator of her time :-)

Where in the World is my Teenager?

Teenagers - ah yes - I hear this a lot. Admittedly, my oldest is just shy of 9 at the moment, and so I have not yet experienced the joy of teenagers. But I do happen to know something about them, having been one myself! And what a teenager I was! Honestly, I think my parents were far better off not knowing what I was up to at any waking moment. And I do admit that when mine get to that age, the temptation will be huge to get them cell phones so that I can keep them on a tether. But just in wording that last sentence in the way I did, I hope I have shown why that is a bad thing. And besides, I do happen to know one thing with 100% certainty - every single generation of teenagers in human history before this one, has managed to survive just fine without cellphones, as did their parents. Of course I am going to worry about my teenagers and what they are up to - probably quite a lot. But see my comments above about adding fuel to the fire of paranoia - about being an enabler. As generations of parents have done before me, I will learn to deal with my worries rather than give in to them, and probably end up a better person in the end.

Another one I hear a lot is that my child will be a social outcast for not having a cellphone, because all of their friends will have them. Enter lessons learned from my father - to be a leader and not a follower. This is the number 1 thing I recall my father trying to teach me when I was growing up, and if I can do half as good a job as he did in imparting that message to my own children, I'll have done a good job. It may well be the case that I'll take a lot of flack from my kids for not wanting them to have a cellphone - but I'm hoping that before they get to that point, that I'll have properly educated them on just how evil the things are. And besides, for them, there will be a positive flipside to being a social outcast - they will have a far greater degree of freedom than their peers ever well, not being at the end of their parents' tether.

Helicopter Parenting

Let's have a further look at this notion of a tether, and just how detrimental it can be to both the parent and the child. It is a very natural thing for a parent to worry about their kids, and a very healthy thing as long as it does not get out of control. However, in today's society, it is really getting out of control in a very serious way. People are overly-paranoid, fueled mainly by mainstream media who disproportionately report bad stories over good ones, because it sells more newspapers. The facts are that crime rates are at their lowest point in decades, and our streets are every bit as safe as they were when we were growing up, if not actually safer. Nonetheless, we have evolved into a society of "helicopter parents", which refers to the parents who hover over their children at every waking moment, making sure that little Johnny or Susie (my generic names for a little boy or little girl) will undergo no harm or the slightest discomfort. Well, within the last few years there has been a pretty major backlash against helicopter parenting, and the problems it creates in the children who were parented in that way. I will not go into a lot of detail on this because a lot people have literally written books on the subject, and there is a plethora of information available on the web. My favorite spot for related information is Lenore Skenazy's Free Range Kids. Just tune in and follow her blog for a few weeks and you'll get all the information you need, as she is the author of one of the aforementioned books on the matter.

So while it is natural that a mom returning to work (outside the home) for the first time in years wants to be there if Johnny or Susie has an issue adjusting to mom not being there, having mom at the end of a tether may not be the best way to make that adjustment. In fact, I'm going out on a bit of a limb here, but I would guess that somewhere in the mountain of studies and information on the downside of helicopter parenting, that there would be information to show that it is precisely the case that having the parent at the end of a tether and reachable on every whim, is counterproductive to helping the kids make that adjustment. It sets up a scenario where the child is away, under the care of other adults, but mom or dad is still just a quick phone call away if the child needs them to overrule a decision made by a care provider. Not that any care provider in their right mind would really give the children that sort of access to a telephone anyway, which sort of makes moot the desire of the parent to be reachable at every moment. And even in the extreme case where the child just became so uncontrollable that a phone call to the parent was in order, do we in all honesty think that the extra 10s of seconds required to reach the parent at the workplace phone is really going to make a difference given that the child must already be in complete hysterics for the caregiver to reach this decision in the first place?

It is well documented, though, the harm that helicopter parenting does in robbing children of the ability to learn to make decisions for themselves. And having the parent available at any moment at the end of a tether puts fuel onto that fire. I've seen it with my own eyes, darned near every day at work in the last year. One of my coworkers was the father of 6 kids, and his cellphone would go off 2 or 3 times every single day, for completely asinine reasons, more often than not to resolve simple disputes between the kids - disputes that they should well be able to resolve themselves by this point given that they were all in their teens.

Forgotten Items / Convenience

Here is one example I often hear, of why cellphones are "needed". I'm out and about, maybe at the store, and there was something I was supposed to pick up but do not recall what it was. Or I'm out at the mall and see something that I think the wife would want, and give her a call to check. I have to admit that there has been the odd time where I've said to myself - "this is where a cellphone would be handy". Maybe once every 2 or 3 months I would estimate. Not very often at all. And while the lack thereof has the odd time resulted in a minor inconvenience, it has never once ended up being anywhere near a show-stopper or deal-breaker. And as tempting as it can be at times to give into this line of thought, the overwhelming benefits of not having a cellphone win every time.

Along these lines, I've heard people say that cellphones are great for when a group of friends are going out, and there are last minute changes in the venue or something like that. I suppose that probably does happen, and in such a circumstance it would be convenient to have a cellphone. But I just cannot imagine this being in any way a show-stopper. And really, having the cellphone is once again just an enabler - for a frenetic, fast-paced lifestyle that an increasing number of people these days admit they've had just about enough of, and wish there were some way to get themselves out of it. Really, it is just a case of someone smashing their own head up against the wall, wondering why the pain will not stop.

And even further still on this point, I believe that having a cellphone for the sake of convenience is an even more serious enabler - and enabler of the consumer lifestyle that is destroying our planet. A lifestyle that puts the immediate gratification of every whimsical desire at the pinnacle of existence. We all need to slow down, individually, and collectively. Not just a bit, but a lot. Otherwise we will kill ourselves.

Smart Phone - Let's be Honest Here

I had to add this as a category because given the study that I heard about on the radio this morning (referenced above), I find the term "Smart Phone" to be particularly humorous given that the study shows that "Smart Phones" actually make us dumber. I guess the "smarts" come out of the person and transfer into the phone, so maybe the name is suiting.

In any case, I've seen circumstances where someone says they are getting a cellphone because they just want to be "available", but then jump right in for a Smart Phone like an iPhone or the likes - which does far more than just make one reachable. They sing, they dance, they solve world hunger with their apps. I maintain that in such cases, the desire for a new toy is at least as strong, if not stronger than the desire to be "reachable". Not that there is anything wrong with wanting a new toy mind you, aside from the environmental devastation they cause, I suppose. People are free to do as they please as long as it is not harming others, and it is really none of mine or anyone else's business.

I just think that it is overall a positive thing if people in general see and admit to the real reasons for their actions, rather than pretending their motivations lie elsewhere. This applies to almost every aspect of life and most of the things we do, really, and is not limited to just cellphones. I have not yet written my "Truth or Consequences" article which delves into the notion that most of what we do in our daily lives is living out a lie. I'm going to just leave this as a teaser :-)

Now That's Just Rude!

Now let's get into the really annoying side of cellphones - the vast majority of the people who use them, simply cannot resist answering it when the thing rings. Afterall, that's why you bought it, right? So that people can reach you? And it would be pretty silly to buy it and then not answer it when it rings. Most people do this even if they are in the middle of a face-to-face conversation with someone, which is an extremely rude thing to do. Personally, what I've started doing if I'm the victim of such rudeness is just walking away from the person. In my last job at Nortel my manager used to answer her cellphone all the time in the middle of meetings, even though it was never such an emergency that really required her immediate attention. Not one single time.

Oohmm

Which brings me to my next point - the Zen of cellphones. Or in fact, the complete lack thereof. Zen - the Eastern study of being completely present in the moment of here-and-now - has become extremely popular in Western society over the last decade or two. The word and concept is used frequently in all walks of life, which I would argue indicates the universal recognition of Zen as a desirable state of being for all humans. Just a few days ago I heard a farmer talking about the act of hoeing a garden as a "Zen state". About 2 weeks ago a friend of mine who offers house cleaning services as part of her business, tweeted (on twitter) about how ironing clothes was a "Zen thing" for her. I immediately responded with a link to this Youtube video, which was posted a few months ago by a Zen Priest / Aikido Teacher that I follow on Twitter and Facebook. A couple of months ago as well, an old friend and roommate of mine contacted me to ask me if I wanted to be on a new mailing list he was starting - a list which would simply send to recipients a new Zen koan every day. The thing that struck me most about this situation is that my friend is an extremely devout and active Christian! So much (admittedly anecdotal) evidence that Zen has become so widespread in Western society, and almost universally recognized as a positive thing.

But enter the lowly cellphone. Just as we are taught to enjoy and make the most of every single moment in the here-and-now, the cellphone rings, and we are interrupted by someone far away from the here-and-now. Every time I see someone accept such an interruption and consider it "normal", I think to myself that if whatever is on the other end of that cellphone is so Almighty important, then clearly they must be doing something wrong in their life, because clearly they should be there - whereever "there" is on the other end of that phone, and not here (and now). And I actually feel sorry for someone who clearly has so little enjoyment in their life that they must constantly be reaching out elsewhere for fulfillment. Which yes, also applies to a guy sitting behind a computer and reaching out to the Internet - that point does not escape me, trust me :-) But at least I recognise this fact, and accept it as true. Which any good alcoholic will tell you is the first step.

Just Me

As opposed to the folks who say they want a cellphone so they can be available or reachable, I personally take the opposite approach. I actually like that when I'm out of the house and about in the neighbourhood or in the car, that nobody can reach me! I go out because I do not want to be at home, I want to be elsewhere. So why would I want home to be able to come to me at any whimsical moment? I am out because I want to be whereever it is that I end up when I am out, so why on earth would I want somewhere else to come to me and interrupt me in being where I am? And there is nothing the least bit nefarious or negative about not wanting to be reachable by my family. Everyone needs time to themself in addition to time with their loved ones. I spend an incredible amount of time with my family - but I do not need nor want them to be in my pocket at every waking moment of every day, as much as I love them.

Convinced Yet?

I think that just about wraps up my thoughts on cellphones. If there is anything I've forgotten, I'll add it in the comments section. I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts on what I've written above. I'm willing to be convinced - but so far nobody has really shown me a good reason why someone should "need" a cellphone for personal use.